Intimacy—Relationship To Others
“Even at their best, relationships are a hodgepodge of societal and religious beliefs,parental and childlike projections, and fairy book delusions. Yet we persist and find true love.” – Anonymous –
This discussion is centered on a few beliefs. If you share similar beliefs, this should make sense to you. If you don’t have particular beliefs, you might try these and see if they work. If your beliefs are contrary—you are sure there is NO God, or that creation is malevolent—I am not sure what to say. Living in a world without hope, love, and purpose can be difficult. The good news is that whether you believe or not, the universe will still love you and help you as much as you are open to being helped.
The first belief is that Creation is inherently good. Whether we call this Universe, Spirit, Krishna, Buddha, The One True God, The Goddess, Yehovah, Christ, or Allah, this boundless, omnipotent, omniscient, and unconditionally loving creation is one hundred percent dedicated to helping us evolve into our best selves.
The second belief is that this dedication manifests across the entire gamut of our lives. From the worst to the best, the fragrance of creation permeates every aspect of our existence. Pay attention and breathe deep.
Partners as
Perfect Mirrors
Tap to explore
It is ALL yours
When you fall in love, you are falling in love with a lifetime of beliefs projected upon the object of your love. When they speak to you, you hear your perception of their words; you do NOT hear what they are saying.
So, every relationship you have is a fabulous opportunity to observe yourself projecting how it feels to be loved, hated, judged, criticized, or adored—all grist for the mill. Not real. At least not at higher levels of understanding.
Ha ha ha! Of course, very few of us live at these levels of understanding. However, just having the knowledge that YOU are the primary filter of all that you perceive will help you and your partner grow and evolve.
The Arc of Love
Tap to explore
This is the goal
“Love is the opening door; Love is what we came here for; no one could offer you more.” — Lesley Duncan
As you progress there will be moments of transcendence. Instances of what the mystics say is the only true love: the recognition of the same consciousness within others that is within you—an Arc of Love. This is the goal. The rest is just fodder.
These moments can occur anytime. An instance of deep appreciation for each other, or, in the midst of a recurring fight, a look in each other’s eyes and the recognition that the argument is an illusion, and in that emptiness and openness, the Arc of Love occurs. A surrender, submersion, and dissolution of the illusion of separation, and for a brief moment, you are not alone.
Harsh words fill the air,
A pause, a look, understanding—
Love’s arc, unbroken.
— ChatGPT 2024
So how do you actually practice this? The wheel below explores six essential areas of intimate relationship—click any section to dive deeper.